forgive your childKhalil Gilbran says, “Your children are not your children. You may give them your love, but not your thoughts.  For they have their own thoughts.”

So how do your forgive your child?

ANSWER:  By loving them!  If you can’t love them face-to-face, love them heart-to-heart.

Our children can be our greatest teachers when we are willing to recognize that they are showing us what they have learned from us!  You can break-up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you can stop speaking to a friend or co-worker, you can even break ties with your extended family or your in-laws, but right or wrong you can’t divorce your kids, and they can’t divorce you!

I get ticked off when they don’t do what I want, just like my parents got ticked off when I didn’t do what they wanted.  My sons have been my best teachers.  If you really want to forgive your child, consider learning from them!

Children love you unconditionally!

They love you when you make them listen, even when they don’t agree, they are respectful to you, even when you may don’t deserve it and your child will quickly forgive you without holding a grudge.

When you learn how to forgive your child, you truly learn how to forgive the world.   Our children don’t give up on us…and they show us the best part of ourselves when we allow them.   They carry us in their hearts and not in their heads, they show us the most natural way to forgive and move on!

Iylana Vanzant tells a story in her new book “Forgiveness – 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything” about her daughter her , who chose not to live the kind of life she dreamed for her.  She said that she tried so hard to keep her daughter from failing… that she failed to give her what she needed to succeed.   She admitted that she judged her, “good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, respectful vs. disrespectful”, all based on her criteria, and not on what her daughter thought or felt as an adult woman.  Moreover, she held her daughter hostage because of her judgments, emotionally withholding her love and affection when she didn’t get what she wanted.

As parents we want the best for our children, yet we are sometimes not willing to accept that our way doesn’t have to be their way, and “I brought you in this world and I’ll take you out” doesn’t apply to our children, any more than it did to us.  Iyanla says, “Parents forget that their children, especially adult children, are under no obligation to walk their path.”

So here are 3 Tips on how to forgive your child:

  1. Love them don’t blame them;

  2. Inspire them instead of criticizing them;

  3. Let them know that they are loved and safe, regardless of whether you agree or not!