5 Tips towards Forgiving Your Father
Every success or challenge in your life can be traced back to the relationship we all have had with our parents! The beliefs we have about ourselves the good, the bad, and the ugly have been formed and molded from what our parents thought about us and what we thought about them. Forgiving your father isn’t easy, but as you know forgiveness helps release our energy so that we can move forward in our lives.
As children, we learn to trust that everything our parents say or do to us or for us is for our highest and best good. Studies have shown that even children that come from parents who physically abused them secretly hide the abuse because they don’t want to lose the parent or get them into trouble.
For example, I feared my father more than I loved him because he was not kind to me. I was a “mistake” my father made when he got my mother pregnant and most of my young life he treated me that way. My father was a disciplinarian not a physical abuser but he did abuse me emotionally. Whenever I did something he didn’t like he would tell me I was just like my mother and I was going to grow up and be just like her.
He told my mother on more than one occasion that if it had not been for me he would have never married her. He beat her, he degraded her, and he made it clear he never loved her.
I made decision that I would never let a man treat me the way he treated my mother. I was convinced that my mother was weak and I made the decision I would never be like her nor would I ever let a man treat me like he treated her.
These feelings became deeply rooted in my psyche for many many years.
When my father left my mother I decided that I was going to be the best at everything I did, that my success would show him that I was not a mistake and he would regret ever leaving me. I let my pain drive me until I realized that I’m still here and I can choose to let this pain destroy me or I can return to love that will empower me.
Then I turned to source of all things…my GOD. I began to study life through the eyes of GOD and I realized that of all the trillions of sperm that ejaculated into my mother I was the one that made it. I accepted that my purpose was bigger than my father and that GOD had a plan and a purpose for me.
I had to forgive my father, I accepted that he did the best he could with what he knew and felt at the time. I used the energy of my father’s strength and determination born inside of me to motivate me…I empowered myself with his courage and I chose to embrace the good and let go of the bad.
5 Tips on Forgiving Your Father:
- Accept that he did the best he knew how to do at the time.
- Rejoice that you are still here in spite of all that happened.
- Release the fear that cast out all darkness and return to love
- Use the pain of your past as a tool and not a noose around your emotional neck, and
- Know you are here to do great things!
My father became my greatest teacher, it took a long time and a lot of work, but I am who I am because of him not in spite of him!
Forgiving your father doesn’t mean you accept or condone the hurt and pain he may have caused you, it means that you forgive your father because you want to release the past and stop allowing it to negatively affect your present and future. After all, you’re worth it!